Living the Double Life

I chose the better part, and was found wanting in the strength to keep to it. – Dr. Henry Jekyll — Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and [...]

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Pulse Check: Surrender

As an addict, my life of ups and downs continues. But overall I am hopeful and feel a sense of optimism. My episodes of acting out are less frequent and the degree to which I have been acting out has been less severe. As they sometimes say in SAA – the goal is progress, not [...]

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Prayer of Surrender

Lord God: I am powerless to be the man of purity I so desperately want to be. I want to be in control and show how strong I am. But all of the strength belongs to you Lord. And so I surrender …

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Turning to Gratitude

We may need to be angry with certain people for a while, people who have pushed our tolerance over the edge. That’s okay. Soon, we can let go of the anger and exchange it for gratitude. These people have been here to help us learn about what we don’t want, what we won’t tolerate, and [...]

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The Battle: A Step Forward

Step. Another step taken. Another step taken in this journey. Another step in this journey of steps. One journey. Twelve steps. Repeat. The Turtle has been away .. away from blogging … away from the journey … on sabbatical. The Turtle has been away because it is hard to find time to blog when there [...]

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We Dedicate Ourselves to Purity

As men of the Purity Platoon, we dedicate ourselves to the Lord Jesus Christ whose Spirit is a Holy Spirit and whose job it is to produce holiness in His Bride. Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for [...]

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Reflecting Turtle: Call from a Friend

It has been almost two months to the day since my last blog post. At first I fell way from making blog entries because I started having some serious struggles with my pornography addiction. Each relapse with this addiction is exhausting, humbling, and disappointing. Shame keeps me from wanting to share and – quite frankly [...]

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Rockin’ the Jesus Prayer

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. + 1 Thess. 5:16-18 — I recently saw a documentary where a greek monastic discussed the practice of praying without ceasing. He said that he could pray no matter what he was doing [...]

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Am I a Prisoner?

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it [...]

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Check-In: Let’s Make a Deal

My deal with God is simple today – he takes care of the abstinence; I take care of meetings, phone, and asking for help. In a way, I had an improper use of will for a long time. Trying to will myself not to act out never worked. But what I could will myself to [...]

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