The Battle: A Step Forward

Step. Another step taken. Another step taken in this journey. Another step in this journey of steps. One journey. Twelve steps. Repeat. The Turtle has been away .. away from blogging … away from the journey … on sabbatical. The Turtle has been away because it is hard to find time to blog when there [...]

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Check-In: Let’s Make a Deal

My deal with God is simple today – he takes care of the abstinence; I take care of meetings, phone, and asking for help. In a way, I had an improper use of will for a long time. Trying to will myself not to act out never worked. But what I could will myself to [...]

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The Battle for Purity: An Inch at a Time

A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY RECOVERY – AN INCH AT A TIME “Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more.” –Louis L’Amour How much fuller each day feels when we can be patient and accept the inches we have progressed. Yet, [...]

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The Grounded Turtle

The Turtle feels grounded.  Grounded in a good way.  Lately it feels as if there has been a certain “groundedness” to the Battle for Purity. I am still struggling in the Battle.  Purity is still the goal and still seems just beyond my grasp.  But for whatever it’s worth, I feel as if things are [...]

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Phil Monroe’s “Cycle of Addiction”

  THE CYCLE OF ADDICTION (by Phil Monroe)   Often the cycle starts with certain triggers, external or internal circumstances that remind us of the allure of the pornography. These can come in the form of thoughts, experiences, feelings, situations, etc. This leads to tempting thoughts in our own minds. We begin to ponder the [...]

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Turtle Check-In

Well, it’s time to take what I’ve learned over the past several days and put it into practice. Let’s see if I can figure out my feelings and do a check-in.  FEELINGS Sadness, fear, anxiety, hope, gratefulness ISSUES Keeping up with work load and re-connecting with Beth NEEDS I need to surrender all to Christ [...]

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Focus on Things You CAN Control (Repeat Post)

DIARY OF AN ADDICT (Repeat Post) There were good words for the addict at today’s meeting. Conversation and reflection today gravitated to the issue of control. A number of the recovering addicts talked about the issue of control in their world. What things do we do to try to impose our wills on our surroundings? [...]

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Bottomed Out? (Re-Post from One Year Ago)

Re-post from one year ago … Have I bottomed out? That’s a questions that haunts every addict. The hope is that you have, but if recovery is a struggle there is a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you haven’t. And if you haven’t bottomed out, you haven’t surrendered or acknowledged that [...]

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Reflecting Turtle: It’s a Struggle

The day starts.  I’m rested and inspired.  I know who I want to be and what I have to do.  I engage in morning devotions, check-in with an accountability partner, and get started with my work.  My feet are on the right path. The day wears on.  Projects are challenging.  I receive unexpected phone calls.  [...]

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Tool for the Battle – The Daily Purity Inventory

One of the things I have learned in this fight for purity is that I need to be aiming for something more than avoiding sexual sin. If my only focus each day is on whether or not I engage in addictive and sinful sexual behavior, I am destined to fail. I need to focus not [...]

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