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Posts Tagged ‘blueshirts’

Farewell, Blueshirts!

We have struggled together side-by-side for the past few years.
We have made countless phone calls, celebrated victories, and agonized over the cycle of defeat.
We have become close friends and brothers.
We have brought glory to Christ — even when falling short of the mark.

I will miss you!

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HAIL TO THE BLUESHIRTS!


Photo by pgilliver on flickr.com

The Blueshirts meet tonight.

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Blueshirts Meet Tonight

HAIL TO THE BLUESHIRTS!


Photo by pgilliver on flickr.com

The Blueshirts meet tonight.

Read Full Post »

HAIL TO THE BLUESHIRTS!


Photo by pgilliver on flickr.com

The Blueshirts meet tonight.

Read Full Post »

Live Pure or Die

Live Pure or Die

Today is an important milestone in D-Monk’s battle for purity — our Purity Platoon met for the last time. The 16 week course of meetings is over and it is time to think about the next step.

So far we have traversed three stages in the fight for purity: (i) the Battle (a one-day event), (ii) Purity Boot Camp (daily meetings for 5 days); and (iii) the Purity Platoon (weekly meetings for 16 weeks).

There is one stage remaining in the “Every Man’s Battle” platform: the Maturity Platoon. This is an on-going accountability group made up of other men who have completed these first three stages.

And so the question is: What is next for D-Monk? Do I go on to the Maturity Platoon? Do I focus more on the Blueshirts? Do I continue with both? Is there anything else I should be doing?

Here are some of my thoughts:

The Maturity Platoon will be made up of the same men as have been in my Purity Platoon. Meetings would again be held on Monday mornings at 6:00am. I am excited about continuing with these brothers, but I wish it were some day other than Monday. I find it very difficult to get up so early on Mondays. I am usually up later on Sundays sucking all I can out of the weekend. So Mondays are always difficult. But getting up two hours earlier than any other day is extremely difficult.

On the other hand we are talking about purity and the service of Christ. In some sense, I think it is better that such things don’t come easy. It helps remind us that there is something at stake and that we are actively sacrificing for our goal of purity. Moreover, I have learned from past experience that I need regular meetings with other men in order to hold myself accountable to the pledge for purity. So while Monday mornings are difficult, I will definitely continue on to the Maturity Platoon.

And what about the Blueshirts? These are brothers to whom I have made a commitment. As much as the four of us have struggled, I really feel that the best course of action for me is to continue to meet with the Blueshirts and offer whatever hope I can to the process of recovery there.

Is this all? Is there anything else?

In my heart I feel a call to take what I have learned and share it with others. I have first-hand knowledge of the power that sexual sin and pornography have to enslave men and separate them from Christ. I have seen how incredibly frustrating it can be to try to escape from the influence of pornography. I have been given the gift of freedom through the grace of Christ and I want to share it with anyone who may need or want it.

I am not sure what opportunities are there for this kind of a ministry, but I do have one idea. I thought I might create a blog page dedicated to this issue that could only be accessed by men who are themselves engaged in the Battle for Purity. It could be a private page that would be open only to men whom I had invited. There we could all have the opportunity to post progress, victories, questions, and challenges and we could have open dialogue to help encourage and support one another.

Would anyone else be interested in this kind of a web community?

Let me know.

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FEELINGS

Today I am feeling grateful, anxious, and tired.

ISSUES

Finances are tight right now as we have had some unexpected expenses.

NEEDS

I need to be a servant to Beth.

SOBRIETY

I have now enjoyed 115 days of purity.

Mondays can be very long days for me.  Our Purity Platoon meets every Monday morning at 6:00am and every other Monday evening I meet with the Blueshirts (the accountability group that I have been a part of for the past two years).  Yesterday was one of those Monday where I had meetings with both groups.

With both groups, now seems like a good time for some stock taking.  Let’s take a step back and evaluate our progress.

I’ll start with the Blueshirts.

THE BLUESHIRTS

The Blueshirts is a group of four recovering sex addicts who are also believing Christians.  Before forming our small group, we had each been engaged in the process of recovery for 2+ years and had been having mixed success.  Prior to joining the Blueshirts, I had attended group counseling with Faithful & True Ministries (a Christian Counseling Center committed to working with sex addicts) and had spent over a year attending SAA (sex addicts anonymous).

We formed the Blueshirts because we craved for a greater level of accountability than we had found in the other formats and because we wanted our recovery to be centered on Christ.  Some of us continued participating in other recovery groups as well.  But the goal with the Blueshirts was to really get to know our accountability partners and to be able to grow the relationships beyond just being men involved in recovery.

The Blueshirts have been meeting every other week on Monday evenings for dinner.  We start our meetings with a check-in and then discuss issues that are troubling us or life in general.  We are all four responsible for our own progress and we each strive to hold the others accountable.  We follow a mix  of the twelve-steps and Christian teaching.

So how have we done?

If the goal is to attain sobriety, the Blueshirts Group has to be considered a failure.  No one in the group ever achieved more than 6-8 weeks of total sobriety.

If the goal is to grow as Christians and make progress towards recovery, then the Blueshirts Group may be seen as a success.  While each of us has had some real struggles, we are all still meeting and we are all still believers committed to becoming better men of God.

For myself, the Blueshirts was not enough.  Five months ago I slipped into a period of total depravity.  I went through a period of viewing internet pornography every day.  I became isolated from my family and angry and ashamed.  I had reached bottom.  Either it was time for a change or it was time to resign myself to the fact that I am a sinner and incapable of change.

I took a short leave of abstinence from the Blueshirts and prayed desperately.  I looked for another source of help.  God, in His mercy, pointed me to “Every Man’s Battle for Purity.”  There was an event on May 2nd.  I signed up.  I showed up.  I gave up and surrendered.

Through Every Man’s Battle and the Purity Platoon I have been given the gift of purity.  What I could not obtain for myself was freely given to me by Christ.  I have found purity by pledging myself to Christ.  Obedience has given me the gift of freedom.

And I still participate with the Blueshirts.  But I am conflicted at every meeting.  They are all still caught in that desperate struggle.  I so want to help them.  What can I do?  Do I just keep going and sharing what is working for me?  Do I get angry and push them harder?  What would have worked for me when I was still struggling?

The sad truth is that nothing could have helped me until I had failed.  Until I had really learned that there was no program I could “work” to overcome this sin in my life, I wasn’t prepared to surrender.  And without surrender, the purity Platoon would not help.

So each man must struggle until he is ready to meet Christ on Christ’s terms.  Nothing else will do.  “No half measures will avail.”

Lord:

I lift up to you my brothers in the Blueshirts.  I pray that you will do for them what you have done for me.  Bring them to the place where they are ready to accept the generous help that you are ready to give.  Bring them to yourself, Lord.

Amen

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HAIL TO THE BLUESHIRTS!


Photo by pgilliver on flickr.com

The Blueshirts meet tonight.

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