Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘covenant’

Photobucket

Yesterday I acted out. I viewed pornography while at work. Despite my increased vigilance about bouncing my eyes, I acted out. Satan did an end-around — I skipped lusting with my eyes and engaged in fantasy about a woman in my mind. Immediately the floodgates were opened and I ran to my mistress — the computer.

Aaaaaaaagh!!!!

How can I claim to love God or love my wife when I act this way?

Well … fortunately it doesn’t end there. The question is what am I gonna do about it?

I have been engaging in a new — short — morning devotional during the season of Lent. I start by reading a chapter of scripture and then I do some short prayer around the acronym ACTS: (i) Adoration, (ii) Confession, (iii) Thanksgiving, (iv) Supplication. I have really been focusing on the daily confession portion of this devotional and it helps me to be more accountable for my daily shortcomings.

As I went through the confession this morning, I felt a bit cheap. I knew that God knew all about my acting out and I also knew that I had made a conscious choice to engage in this sinful behavior. Confession just didn’t seem complete. I began to think about repentance and how it builds on confession. Repentance focuses on changing the sinful behavior. Of course, that is exactly what I have been trying to do for some time now. So does that mean repentance is out of reach?

I did want to make something genuine out of this morning’s confession, however, so I kept thinking about it. I focused on my daily prayer in which I make a covenant with my eyes not to look at a woman with lust (Job 31:1). How can this covenant be made more real?

Then it occurred to me that most legal covenants are made in the presence of witnesses. So I decided to share my covenant with my SALT Brothers and made my oath to Christ regarding this covenant in their presence (at least over the phone).

I have felt some movement in my heart since this morning. I am feeling some of the buoyancy of forgiveness. I know that feeling the forgiveness doesn’t make it more real — the forgiveness of Christ purchased by his blood on the cross is as real as any fact in this world. But I have some peace from these feelings anyway.

I think this is another start. A Brand New Day!

+++

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

WEEK 5

Memory Verse

I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.

+ Job 31:1

This week’s platoon meeting started with a Purity Celebration. We took some time to recognize those men in the group with at least two weeks of purity (i.e., no pornography, no masturbation, and no sexual fantasy). All but three men in our platoon have not only experienced two weeks of purity, we are able to claim purity since the day of the Battle (May 2nd).

Praise to Christ Jesus!!!

After the celebration, we spent time reviewing our homework. This week we have been focusing on three things: (i) inter-generational sin, (ii) taking 15 minutes each day to read scripture, and (iii) setting up a defensive perimeter around our eyes.

After sharing with our purity partner, we each prayed the following:

Dear Lord, with your help I covenant to become pure with my eyes. I commit myself to looking at a woman from the neck up, to bounce my eyes to another person or object when a woman comes into view, and to starve my eyes by turning away from looking at other women and giving my eyes to my wife. Jesus, help me! I cannot do this alone. I purpose before God and my purity partner to become a “one-woman man” with my eyes.

Read Full Post »