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Posts Tagged ‘help’

RETURN OF THE TURTLE?

I really don’t know …

But I do know I have been struggling lately.  No, I haven’t gone off the deep-end into a series of acting-out episodes.  But I have been casually looking at pornography on the internet several times a week.  And that is not who I want to be.

Or do I?  Is it ok if I have this one vice if I manage everything else?  Part of me wants the answer to be “Yes.”  Part of me wants it to be normal, ok, and even healthy.  But my conscience doesn’t buy it.

So I am struggling.  I am wandering from the straight path.  But I am not wandering far enough to fell the exigency of the situation.  It might be better if I failed … bottomed out … found out how serious this problem is.  Then I might be ready for surrender.

But today … today I still believe I can handle it.  I can be in control.  I am a man and I am strong. Today I see surrender as weakness.

But in my heart I know that surrender is the strongest thing a man could do.  Admit my weakness and walk in the light.

Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!

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CALLING OUT THE PHONE BRIGADE!

Today I am in need of the Phone Brigade! I am filled with the desire to act out … the desire to view pornography.

Today is a day where I cash in the chips of accountability.

Why do I make those phone calls day after day? So that on days like today I can make a phone call to help save me from myself. To keep me from doing the thing that I know I don’t want to do (… and yet I so much want to do it!).

Today I call for …

HELP!

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But when Sanballat and Tobiah and the Arabs and the Ammonites and the Ashdodites heard that the repairing of the walls of Jerusalem was going forward and the gaps were beginning to be closed, they were very angry, and all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and to cause confusion in it. So we prayed to our God, and set a guard as a protection against them day and night.

+ Nehemiah 4:7-9

Prayer is a powerful tool in the fight against sexual sin and sexual addiction. But prayer is not a license to abandon responsibility. In prayer we admit our inadequacies and turn to the one true source of hope in our Battle against sexual sin. Still, we ourselves must take whatever steps lie within our own power to protect ourselves against the enemy.

  • We must identify those circumstances which leave us vulnerable to sexual temptation.

  • We must post a rear guard against those situations.

  • We must set up fire drills.

  • We must make daily phone calls.

  • We must be part of an accountability group.

  • And we must be honest with ourselves and our accountability group.

Yes, we can and should call on our Heavenly Father for help. And we must also do what we can in obedience to carry out the will of our Heavenly Father. We must actively engage in the Battle for Purity.

We are in danger of making prayer a substitute for duty; or of trying to roll over on God, the burden of caring for us and doing things for us–while we sit still and do nothing! When we pray to be delivered from temptation–we must keep out of the way of temptation, unless duty clearly calls us there. We must also guard against temptation, resist the Devil, and stand firm in obedience and faith. When we ask God for our daily bread, pleading the promise that we shall not lack–we must also labor to earn God’s bread, and thus make it ours honestly.

+ J.R. Miller

[For a wider discussion of this topic, see “Prayerfully Coming to Grips With Inadequacy Without Becoming Inactive” on the Desire Spiritual Growth Blog]

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